good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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