Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
