ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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