all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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