Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
