R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
