I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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