The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
