I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
