I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
