3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
