Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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