so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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