what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
