i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
