i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
