It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
