We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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