the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
