An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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