I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Randomize
