No awkward lesbian experiences without me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I need water and some morals
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.