come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize