I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?