i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"