You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That accounts for only three of the penises
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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