Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
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He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
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It's no shave November. This is our time.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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