Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Congratulations! We have a period
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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