I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
