What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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