I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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