Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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