is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't think brook has ever known best
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
