Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
