She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
