I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
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Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
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My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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