return my video game
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
