she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
