just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
