I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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