I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
