found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize