This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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