I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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