hotel room ftw
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
