it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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