I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We need to rekindle our bromance
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
