Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
