he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
