The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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