physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.