no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
40s are totally the cure
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.