the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
