Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.

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  (301): Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them. http://tfl.nu/uwdn
  Replies (25) Good night (3361) Bad night (609)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?

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  (917 ): Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"? http://tfl.nu/0dpt
  Replies (15) Good night (548) Bad night (2756)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.

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  (901): I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed. http://tfl.nu/im7o
  Replies (20) Good night (530) Bad night (3097)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.

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  (301): Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life. http://tfl.nu/ieq0
  Replies (5) Good night (668) Bad night (3387)
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  (408): View more from California

  Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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  (408): Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling. http://tfl.nu/ek2q
  Replies (26) Good night (768) Bad night (4300)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain

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  (612): i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain http://tfl.nu/an1d
  Replies (3) Good night (3775) Bad night (925)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?

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  (850): I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper? http://tfl.nu/y2i2
  Replies (7) Good night (1275) Bad night (3217)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

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  (401): She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher http://tfl.nu/uenp
  Replies (16) Good night (2271) Bad night (2506)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!

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  (352): She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week! http://tfl.nu/rhq7
  Replies (4) Good night (1852) Bad night (503)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5

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  (413): Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5 http://tfl.nu/y1kc
  Replies (9) Good night (1052) Bad night (490)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.

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  (785): As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester. http://tfl.nu/qann
  Replies (7) Good night (677) Bad night (385)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u

  (815): View more from Illinois

  U act like I can cum on command

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  (309): I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u (815): U act like I can cum on command http://tfl.nu/wvuj
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (279)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.

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  (404): Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not. http://tfl.nu/3nps
  Replies (2) Good night (260) Bad night (599)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.

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  (419): I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck. http://tfl.nu/7r7g
  Replies (3) Good night (249) Bad night (880)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  ...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.

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  (505): wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days. (505): ...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it. http://tfl.nu/p1xm
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (331)

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