I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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