I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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