i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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