i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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