At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
