My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
