i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
